![]() The financial resources that used to run one household must now run two. There are significant lifestyle changes that occur during divorce. I went into a deep depressive state, where I did not want to do anything, basically I wasn't living! I know he still loves me, but what can I do to get him to understand that I do want to "love right", and to have us back together?" -Kendra My husband recently divorced me because he said, "I did not love him right!" I finally got the idea of what I was doing wrong. In fact, divorce is most often initiated to relieve emotional pain, not cause it. People don’t even think about this aspect as they enter into it. One of the biggest reasons divorce is so hard is that it takes a significant emotional toll. Such as, how am I going to ever get through this? And when you’re the one who doesn’t, getting through your divorce turns from practical ‘how-to’ questions to ones of survival. Why Is Divorce So Hard and Painful?ĭivorce is difficult and painful, even if you’re the spouse who wants it. However, if you’re in the middle of a divorce the questions often will look more like, when will this ever end, how can I get it over quicker, I’m overwhelmed or stuck – what do I do?Īs you can begin to see, the answers people are seeking to the how to get through a divorce question can vary widely and be complex. If you’re still contemplating divorce then the answers you’re likely seeking are about what steps do you take, how do you not make mistakes, what should you look out for, how do you not get taken advantage of. If you’re asking the question of how to get through a divorce then what you want in an answer is going to be different not only depending upon whether you want it or don’t, but also on where you are in the process. I don't want to throw 23 years down the drain, and I certainly don't want our daughter to suffer any more than she already does." -Susan In the meantime, we have a fourteen year old daughter who is very hurt and angry with her father right now. I think that had a lot to do with his leaving. My husband has always been a follower and I think that hearing his friends, he began to think the grass was greener on the other side. Several of his friends, including his cousin, have recently separated and/or gotten divorced and would tell my husband how much happier they were and they would brag about their new girlfriends. Our marriage has always been rocky, but this was still a shock to me. He said he didn't love me anymore and wanted a divorce. My husband just walked out, 10 days before our 23rd wedding anniversary. The fact that you still love your partner and they don’t love you just makes answering these questions infinitely harder. The question really should be - how to get through a divorce when it’s being forced on you, you didn’t choose it, and especially when you don’t want it. So how do you get through a divorce if you’re the partner who doesn’t want it, and what if you still love him? ![]() Both typically agree there are problems, but how they see the severity as well as the possibility of resolving them is usually very different. In other words, one partner is done and the other wants to keep trying. In the majority of divorces one partner wants to divorce and the other doesn’t.
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